Traducteur provocateur: The specialist

von Helena Stamatovic

Provoking is what he does best, arguing is his weapon of choice: Welcome to the outrageous world of the Traducteur provocateur. Today: "The specialist".

TP: "Hey customer."

C: "Hi translator. How are you?"

TP: "Fine, thanks. Yourself?"

C: "Lots to do. How can I help?"

TP: "I have a little problem here. I can’t translate the text you sent me yesterday."

C: "Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?"

TP: "It’s a contract."

C: "Yeah, and?"

TP: (sighs) "I don’t translate contracts. As you know, I’m a technical translator."

C: "I don’t understand. You translate into English, don’t you?"

TP: "Yes ...?"

C: "So what’s the problem?"

TP: "Here’s a question for you: Who wrote this contract?"

C: "The Legal Department, I think.»

TP: "Okay. And would you be able to write such a text?"

C: "Are you kidding? I’m not a lawyer!"

TP: "And I’m not a legal translator."

C: "Okay. I understand your point. What are you proposing?"

TP: "That you go to a specialist."

C: "Okay. And where can I find one? Google?"

TP: "I can recommend a colleague to you. He is excellent. Maybe a bit more expensive than me..."

C: "How much more expensive…?"

TP: "Maybe 30 to 40 percent. He’s a translator AND a lawyer, you know."

C: "Aha." (thinks) "Well, there’s no way we can afford that. It’s supposed to be only a translation, not a scientific treatise. I’ll ask the other translator, I’m sure he’ll do it."

TP: "Seriously, customer, do you really want to take that risk?"

C: "What risk?"

TP: "Well, that somebody works on this who translates complete nonsense! That could cost you even more..."

C: "Possible. But what do you care?"

TP: (sighs) "You’re right, it’s your company. Well then, good luck!"

C: "Wait! Can I send you the finished translation for proofreading? Just to make sure everything is correct."

TP: (says nothing and hangs up)


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